by Julie DeLong, A-1 Freeman Moving Group
Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best
Moving is tough—regardless of the situation, any time you have to pack up all your worldly possessions (read--old college papers, items you have been meaning to fix, kids’ drawings) and move them to a new home is mind-boggling for even the most chipper and optimistic among us. When you've secured your dream job—five states away--and your significant other will have to say goodbye to their career, when life has tossed you a big roadblock and you are basically forced to move, when living alone is no longer an option---you have to deal with a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs along with the stress of the physical move to Oklahoma City.
One aggravation in moving is coping with the whims of the real estate business. You are a mature adult, valued in your community, and your life is completely in the hands of some people you have never met--what if your house doesn't sell? What if the people who put an offer on your house change their minds? Suppose they ask you to leave the curtains and the kids' swingset? What if the appraiser sees the rift in the foundation that is sort of hidden behind the shrubs? Suppose the inspector finds your new house has a bad roof or there is a mall and travel plaza projected for across the street from your new subdivision? Here is the reality. You have no say over any of these things. The best you can do is to ensure that the realtor helping with your residence and the realtor helping you with the new house are competent and do their jobs--and talk with both to have a contingency plan should something unexpected happen.
Think about real estate transactions as a long run of dominoes--closings usually depend on another closing happening on time. One hiccup five steps down the food chain can have an impact on your buyers timeline, and a similar thing goes for the house you're moving to—unforeseen mishap may mean you can't close on the day that you had planned, and you're up at night pondering how it's going to feel to be homeless for a few days, or if you could just move into one of the moving company’s moving vans and set up camp.
Calm down. One of the benefits of the recession is that real estate rules have changed and there aren't the number of last-minute changes with your closings. You should discover any possible problems far in advance of your closing time, and in case that something does vary, moving companies are very capable of working with changing timetables. If something does slow you down, you could have the choice of moving in a few days before you actually close--again, a good realtor plans for contingencies, so you don't have to worry about them.
Talk to your realtors and lender once per week before your scheduled closing to make sure all the inspections and repairs and whatnot are going as they should; being on top of it provides you at least a feeling of control, and if there is a speedbump you're not caught unaware.
If something unexpected does take place, like if you're building and weather has pushed back inspections and you do not have the occupancy certificate a few days ahead of closing because the wiring is not completed, AND you have fixed closing date on your old residence and the movers are lined up, do not lose it. Most moving companies offer temporary or long-term storage until you can move in your new residence, and your realtor can help you find short-term housing until your house is ready. Issues like these are very common, but when they do occur your anxiety levels skyrocket--so count on your team to help you deal with it.
The Emotional Stages of Moving
So, you are moving to Oklahoma City--and it may be welcome, it might be a challenge. You may be relocating five blocks or five hundred miles away. Everybody's circumstances are different, but people are mostly the same--the emotional rollercoaster just varies from home to house. Some are kiddie sized, with happy Disney cars to ride in, and others mirror a death-defying, nausea-producing Loch Ness monster. The trick is to turn that roller coaster into a smooth ride with cheerful little people singing "It's A Small World" as you pass through your closets.
Some researchers and psychologists have equated moving--in any circumstance--to the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief model. Meaning, you feel denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
When you've built a life in one place, it is very normal to have mixed feelings about moving from the home where you lovingly painted every room just the right color, where you brought your babies home, where you observed all those birthdays and other special occasions. If your move is not choice but necessity, it's fine to rage at the fates that have deposited you at the location where you are vacating your home because you have no choice. Be furious, shriek and scream at the walls and ask your family and friends for encouragement. Take some time attempting to figure out how to not have to move—perhaps your significant other could commute, or rent an apartment in the new town; if you require help keeping up with your house, you could get live in help. Working through your choices, as insane as they could be, helps you work through the reality of moving so that it's a bit easier to accept it.
Then, you may spend a couple days or weeks in denial, of sorts. This is when your relatives ask if they might stop over and help you go through your belongings, and you fabricate a little and say you are almost done, when in fact you've tossed out two old socks and one pair of those disposable pedicure flip flops and do not own a single box, yet. If you are really struggling with the details of purging and packing, have your family help you. Or, ask your moving company to pack things up for you—most full-service movers have professional packers who can either get you started or do the entire job for you.
In the end, you will accept the transition and change. It could not be the moment the trucks arrive, it could take several months. But the human spirit is a resilient thing and you will come to accept and embrace your new locale in Oklahoma City. That's not to say it will be simple, but being agreeable to create a new life and doing new activities can ease the nostalgia for your old residence and your old life.
The members of your family will all experience the same feelings, although with varying degrees of ferocity--teenagers’ reactions are going to be a bit more aggressive than that of a child. If you're leaving your family home for senior living because one spouse is not doing well, then the more active spouse may experience more anger and denial. The important thing is to keep in mind that the emotional twists and turns are normal and it would be weird if you didn't feel sad or mad or a little upset during the process.
Keeping your move in perspective is critical to getting to the new residence safe and sound. Your life isn't kept in the rooms of your old house, your life is in the memories you've formed there. Keep in mind that you won't lose old friends, and that you'll meet new ones. And someday, you will open the front door and say to yourself, "I'm home."
Easing the Transition
People are creatures of habit--even toddlers pick their snuggly stuffed animal and woe to you if it is in the washing machine at nap time. So, when you move, you're lots of times changing up all your habits in place and even when you are looking forward to the new home, the new life you've got to evolve around it is challenging to even the most even keel person. When you are moving and worried about creating a new life for you and your family in Oklahoma City, here are some suggestions to help with the transition.
Get your family enthusiastic about the relocation to Oklahoma City. If this translates to agreeing that your teenage daughter can paint a life-size elephant on her wall, put a smile on your face and get the paint. It might mean that finally you have enough yard for a dog—figure out what kind of dog would fit best with your family, and as soon as you are settled into your new home, drive to the local shelter and find your new best friend. While you are at it, adopt two dogs, as everybody needs a pal. Let your boys put up tents and camp out in that big backyard. Of course, it its bribery of a sort, but it's all for the best and the thrill of new privileges and besides, puppies are hard to beat. And, if you are the one having a hard time with it, seeing your family settling in goes a long way to improving your spirits.
When you are moving, the information superhighway (if you're older that terminology makes sense to you) makes the trip a lot smoother. You possibly utilized real estate websites to search for your new house and research schools and neighborhoods, so you have a decent idea already of your new bubble. Use social media to link up with people--towns of every size have mom groups that offer all kinds of things from dermatologist reviews to the best swim lessons--and don’t forget that your new neighbors are great resources. Lots of neighborhoods have websites and online directories that tell you whose kids babysit, dog walk and shovel snow.
If you have children, transitioning activities is much more important to them than that dentist. Being able to jump right back into basketball or swimming lessons or ballet keeps them active and helps them fit into their new community-the last thing you need is to have moping children around the home whining that they hate you and do not have any friends. And here is a fun tidbit—research shows that moving in the middle of the school year is smoother for new students than moving over during the summer months. If you commence a new school at the start of the year it's more likely to get looked over in the crowd , but when you come in when school's in session, it is more likely your kids will find friends faster and be more interested in school.
The loss of a feeling of belonging can be a tough part of a relocation for the grown-ups. When you are accustomed to stopping by a neighbor's abode just because you see her car in the driveway, being in a new place where you don't know a soul is hard. Remember that your new neighbors are most likely interested in being friends with you, because they have possibly said goodbye to their drive-by buddies and are wanting to meet the new neighbors (aka – you!). Walking your dog is a great way to say hello to the neighbors--their eagerness to learn about you is high, and this gives you a simple way to meet everybody.
The majority of churches and synagogues have newcomers’ gatherings that that you can join, and assist you to work out how you fit within that community. The majority of schools love volunteers, so ponder getting involved. And, if you're an affiliate of a national organization such as Rotary or Junior League your membership can be easily transferred.
Life changes are difficult, but by allowing yourself and your family the okay to be a little sad about the past will help everyone look forward to the future.
If you are planning a move, contact A-1 Freeman Moving Group to begin on your free in-home estimate. We promise to do our part to make your move to Oklahoma City as smooth as possible.